Race report: Raleigh Chopper vs Maidenhead & District Cycling Club 10 mile time trial at Drift Road:
At sign on I was told by the very helpful volunteers that I would be sent off first (see green arrow on map below). I was pleased about this as I thought it would ensure I avoided wrong turns because of all the riders overtaking me. TT riders are sent off at one minute intervals so my goal, for no particular reason, was to hold off the next rider at least until the A330 roundabout (see map at link below). I set off at a properly unsustainable pace with my "time trial" handlebar grip and the Chopper rattling and squeaking as I mashed away at the silly little rubber pedals. This TT grip makes it more difficult to control the wobbly front wheel and means I can't use the brakes but I decided these things were less important than the aerodynamic benefit gained.
As I turned a long corner and saw Drift Road stretching away up a long gentle climb my right foot suddenly stuck. I looked down and could see my Gola trainer shoelace wrapped around my pedal axle. I yanked it free and let it flap behind my ankle in the wind. I knew this might mean that I'd have to stop to sort it out later but it had only affected my speed for a second. I was scared to look behind but I could see my target - the A330 roundabout - approaching and put in a huge effort to get to it before my pursuer. I made it. I turned left and the road began to twist and then climb.
I had been in third gear since starting but now, with the first blast of adrenaline gone and my legs and lungs screaming, I tried to push the heavy bike up the hill without having to change into second gear. This is because the Chopper's gears require the rider to stop pedalling in order to change. I was struggling, panicked, and was caught. The first rider to pass me surged by as though I was stationary. He was low over his TT bars and spinning fluidly while I wrestled the creaking Chopper up the climb. I felt like a duck bobbing hopelessly in the wake of a motor launch. Reaching down for the gear stick, I stopped pedalling and changed to second. Things became easier but I hated the loss of speed. I heard the second rider who passed me long before I saw him, his disc rear wheel roaring like a helicopter. With the ground levelling out I put the Chopper back into third gear and resolved to leave it there no matter what.
The rest of the ride is a bit of a blur. I was overtaken at least twice more and I became increasingly desperate. I began to wonder whether time trialling on a Chopper is similar to reading Vogon poetry in that it causes one's liver to rebel and strangle one's brain. I was swimming in pain and making all sorts of deals with myself when, finally, I realised I was riding through Cranbourne and would soon be passing the sign-on table and on the home straight. I tried to accelerate but was already at Chopper warp factor 20, ie full speed, so I changed my grip on the bars to try to use my arms to get some leverage and squeeze a tiny bit more speed out of the wildly complaining bike. It meant I was less aerodynamic (of course a major concern to the Chopper rider) but by then it was all about shovelling as much energy into the pedals as I could. I saw the finish judge and then, as I passed him I freewheeled, trying not to lose control of the wobbling front wheel.
I came to rest at the side of the road and tried to look at my watch but was in too much distress, trying not to be sick and not fall over. After a couple of minutes I got myself together, looked at my watch and concluded that I might have broken 35 minutes. We'll see.
Again, I was amazed that the Chopper dealt with the event so well. Thank you Rikki Pankhurst Cycles for his excellent servicing of the bike. While we're doing thank yous, thank you also Maidenhead & District Cycling Club for the Chopper 10 mile TT experience. All your members / volunteers were extremely helpful and I was treated with precisely the right level of ridicule throughout the evening, i.e. plenty.
http://www.maidenheadcc.org.uk/h10-10
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